Wednesday, July 06, 2011

 

Doctor's Orders

The Vaux-de-Vire of Maistre Jean Le Houx, Advocate of Vire, ed. and tr. James Patrick Muirhead (London: John Murray, 1875), pp. 25 and 27:
OLD MAN.
I ask your counsel for my health;
  In your great wisdom I confide;
'Twill add, too, somewhat to your wealth.

PHYSICIAN.
  For you my best skill shall be tried,
For you prescribing faithfully;
And I decline your proffer'd fee.

OLD MAN.
What must I take to cure my cough,
  And this continual catarrh
Which threatens soon to cut me off?

PHYSICIAN.
  Recipe:—Juice of plants that are
Well trained around vine-pole to climb;
Take twice or thrice at each meal-time.

OLD MAN.
I suffer great debility
  Of stomach: hardly can digest,
Engendering a crudity.

PHYSICIAN.
  Recipe:—Daily, as is best,
Administer, in dental way,
Red syrup of the Orleanais.

OLD MAN.
In change of weather gout doth keep
  The joints of all my bones in pain,
So that at night I cannot sleep.

PHYSICIAN.
Recipe:—Three times o'er, again,
And more, decoction of the vine;
Don't heed so much those crowns of thine.

OLD MAN.
Your Recipes are always wine.
  Is wine so very good a thing?
Without it, fails your medicine!

PHYSICIAN.
  I'm always safe in ordering
Those of my humour such a dose;
For wine alone cures all my woes.
French on pp. 24 and 26:
LE VIEILLARD.
Conseillez moy pour ma santé,
Car vous scauez la medecine;
Et vous serez bien contenté.

LE MEDECIN.
Pour vous j'emploiray ma doctrine,
Vous conseillant fidellement,
Et ne veux poinct de vostre argent.

LE VIEILLARD.
Que faut il pour ma toux garir
Et le rheume qui me tourmente
Et cuide me faire mourir?

LE MEDECIN.
Recipe du jus de la plante
Qui se soustient par echalas
Deux ou trois fois a ton repas.

LE VIEILLARD.
J'ay l'estomach debilité,
Si bien qu'a grand'peine il diggere
M'engendrant vne crudité.

LE MEDECIN.
Recipe pour ton ordinaire
Et te donne a trauers les dens
Du rouge cyrop d'Orleans.

LE VIEILLARD.
La goutte aux ioinctures des os
Me tient alors que le temps change,
Si bien que j'en perdz le repos.

LE MEDECIN.
De decoction de vandange
Recipe trois voltes & plus:
Ne songe tant en tes escus.

LE VIEILLARD.
Tous vos Recipes sont de vin.
Le vin, est ce chose si bonne?
Sans luy ne seriez medecin!

LE MEDECIN.
A tous ceux la le vin j'ordonne,
Qui en humeur me sont egaux,
Car le vin garit tous mes maux.

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