Laudator Temporis Acti

Charles Neaves (1800-1876), I'm Very Fond of Water:

A NEW TEMPERANCE SONG
(Adapted from the Platt Deutsch)
Ἄριστον μὲν ὕδωρ

I'm very fond of water,
    I drink it noon and night:
Not Rechab's son or daughter
    Had therein more delight.

I breakfast on it daily;
    And nectar it doth seem,
When once I've mixed it gaily
    With sugar and with cream.
But I forgot to mention
    That in it first I see,
Infused or in suspension,
    Good Mocha or Bohea.

                Chorus—
I'm very fond of water,
    I drink it noon and night;
No mother's son or daughter
    Hath therein more delight.

At luncheon, too, I drink it,
    And strength it seems to bring:
When really good, I think it
    A liquor for a king.
But I forgot to mention—
    'Tis best to be sincere—
I use an old invention
    That makes it into Beer.
        I'm very fond of water, etc.

I drink it, too, at dinner;
    I quaff it full and free,
And find, as I'm a sinner,
    It does not disagree.
But I forgot to mention—
    As thus I drink and dine,
To obviate distension,
    I join some Sherry wine.
        I'm very fond of water, etc.

And then when dinner's over,
    And business far away,
I feel myself in clover,
    And sip my eau sucrée.
But I forgot to mention—
    To give the glass a smack,
I add, with due attention,
    Glenlivet or Cognac.
        I'm very fond of water, etc.

At last when evening closes,
    With something nice to eat,
The best of sleeping doses
    In water still I meet.
But I forgot to mention—
    I think it not a sin
To cheer the day's declension,
    By pouring in some Gin.

I'm very fond of water:
    It ever must delight
Each mother's son or daughter—
    When qualified aright.

The Greek motto Ἄριστον μὲν ὕδωρ ("Best is water") comes from the opening of Pindar, Olympian Odes 1.1. I have been unable to identify the original Platt Deutsch. ;-)

---

Jim Tucker writes:

It's worth pointing out, regarding the poem you post that begins with this Pindar citation, that Ἄριστον μὲν ὕδωρ can also mean "water for breakfast." (And lunch and dinner, looks like.)