Laudator Temporis Acti

Roger Pearse thinks that Google Translate's ability to translate Latin into English has improved. Perhaps it has. But I just fed it the beginning of Terence's Adelphoe, and here is the gibberish it generated:

Storax! Aeschinus did not return to dinner tonight
nor any of the slaves who had gone against them.
of course they say this truly: if you are anywhere
and if you stop there, it's better to fall out
what the wife says about you and what she thinks in your mind
angry than those who forgive parents.
wife, if you forbear, or think of loving you
to love yourself or to drink and to obey in spirit
and that it is good for you, only for him, since he is ill.

The Latin:

Storax! non rediit hac nocte a cena Aeschinus
neque seruolorum quisquam, qui aduorsum ierant.
profecto hoc uere dicunt: si absis uspiam
atque ibi si cesses, euenire ea satius est,
quae in te uxor dicit et quae in animo cogitat
irata, quam illa quae parentes propitii.
uxor, si cesses, aut te amare cogitat
aut tete amari aut potare atque animo obsequi
et tibi bene esse, soli sibi quom sit male.

A real translation, by John Sargeaunt (stage direction removed):

Storax! Then Aeschinus never came back last night after dinner
nor any of the servant lads who went to escort him.
I am sure it is a true saying that if you are away anywhere
or at least slow to return it is better to have happen to you
what your wife says at you, even what she thinks in her heart,
when she is in a temper, than what indulgent parents fear.
The wife, if you are late, thinks you are after another woman
or another woman after you, or that you are at a drinking-party and making merry,
enjoying yourself without her while she is miserable.