Laudator Temporis Acti

F.L. Lucas, "To Herr Baedeker, Thanksgiving Ode," Poems, 1935 (Cambridge: At the University Press, 1935), pp. 11-12 (line numbers added):

TO HERR BAEDEKER
THANKSGIVING ODE
on returning alive from the Mediterranean
HERR BAEDEKER, Herr Baedeker,
Majestic and immortal Herr,
All-highest of all cicerones,
Where lodge at last your travelled bones?
You knew the place of death and birth        5
Of every worthy on this earth,
But none knows yours, great oracle
Geographic, practical, historical;
None lays a laurel on your grave,
For all that good advice you gave        10
To the headlong and unheeding stranger—
"Cold milk can be a serious danger”,
Or "Despite romantic loathing,
Always wear flannel underclothing”,
Or "As a safeguard against chills,        15
It is more prudent in the hills
To don at night a woollen vest!”
How wise you were, the tombs attest
Of all that dared, though you forbad,
"Without an overcoat, or plaid,        20
To leave the house"; or held too light
The words—"On no account lose sight
Of a main road without a guide!
The dogs are savage!” Men have died
Like flies, because their mockery drown’d        25
Your warning cry—"Adders abound.”

Herr Baedeker, Herr Baedeker,
Ah, what a deathless character!
Ah, happy, happy, happy few
That once with wondering eyes watched you        30
Tree-like stalking across the plain,
As Birnam Wood towards Dunsinane,
With vests on vests, and coats on coats,
Perspiring, but still taking notes;
Behelmeted, bepuggareed,
Equipped for every mortal need,        35
For every pleasure, every task,
With drinking-cup and travelling-flask,
Disguised in duly blackened spectacles,
Followed by (packed in due receptacles)
Forks and "knives with folding handles",        40
Rugs and sleeping-bags and candles,
Cups, compasses, and riding-whip
(For dogs)—enough to load a ship
Or occupy a caravan—
A walking Providence, not a man!        45
Pilgrim, to you 'tis surely given
Henceforth to assign the stars in Heaven.
St John or the Blessed Damozel
Could never map Paradise half as well;
Doubtless by now you have planned beside
To supersede Dante, with a Guide        50
To Hell; and then complete the story
With a Short-cuts through Purgatory.

Thanks to my friend Eric Thomson for the following notes on Lucas' ode:

15-17, 37-43 Karl Baedeker, Greece: Handbook for Travellers (Leipsic: Karl Baedeker/London: Dual and Co., 1889) pp. xvii-xviii:

Riding-breeches are highly desirable; but if ordinary trousers are worn, buttons for riding-straps should not be forgotten. Woollen underclothing is necessary as a preventive of chills (comp. p. xxx), and it is prudent to wear a woollen vest at night. Flannel shirts are in many respects more convenient than linen ones, and they practically diminish the bulk of the luggage. For the transport of the latter on horseback, waterproof bags or wallets are much more convenient than trunks or hard leather portmanteaux. The boots should be strong and able to resist the friction of rocky mountain-paths and ruined masonry. The hat should have a brim wide enough to afford some shade from the sun, and a 'puggaree' tied round it (obtainable in Athens) will also be found acceptable. Smoke-coloured spectacles will be found a great relief to the eyes, though their use feels a little strange at first. They may be purchased from the Italian optician Labarbera, in the Rue d'Hermes, and in several other shops in Athens, but may be obtained more cheaply in England or Italy.

The traveller in the interior should also have a travelling flask and drinking cup, a knife large enough to be used in eating if necessary, candles for evening use, and a good compass. A stout cane or long riding-whip will sometimes be found useful in repelling the village and shepherds' dogs.

20-21 Karl Baedeker, Greece: Handbook for Travellers (Leipsic: Karl Baedeker/London: Dual and Co., 1889) p. xxx:

The visitor should invariably be somewhat more warmly clad than in a similar temperature at home, and he should never leave the house without an overcoat or plaid, to be donned on passing from sun-shine to shade, when sitting in a boat or carriage, and in the evening.

26 Adders abound. Karl Baedeker, Southern France from the Loire to the Italian and Spanish Frontiers, Including Corsica: Handbook for Travellers (Leipsic: Karl Baedeker/London: Dual and Co., 1891) p.137:

To the PIC DE NÉRÉ, 3¾ hrs. from LUZ, there and back 6½ hrs., delightful excursion which can be made on horseback part of the way; guide 12, horse 10 fr. (adders abound).

The oxymoron of 'delightful' and 'adders' is achieved by way of what Edward Mendleson ("Baedeker's Universe," Yale Review 74 (Spring 1985) 386-403) dubs the "Baedeker parenthesis":

One of its many functions was to juxtapose, without irony, the poetical and the practical. The best example of a Baedeker parenthesis was written not by Baedeker but by E.M. Forster in imitation of Baedeker. In Where Angels Fear to Tread, while Mrs. Herriton "was not one to detect the hidden charms of Baedeker... Philip could never read 'The view from the Rocca (small gratuity) is finest at sunset' without a catching at the heart."

Baedeker's gravestone in the Hauptfriedhof cemetery, Koblenz.