Tuesday, February 27, 2007


More on Droopy Drawers

Dear Michael Gilleland,

The Romans apparently managed to droop even without drawers:

Maltinus tunicis demissis ambulat; est qui
inguen ad obscenum subductis usque. Horace Sat. 1, 2 25-26

Maltinus walks about in baggy pants and another guy
With his tunic tucked up to his raunchy crotch.

(translator: Paul T. Alessi)

Maltinus goes out dressed
In baggy clothes. Another dandy hikes
His tunic halfway up his ass.

(translator: John Svarlien)

'Aurea mediocritas' in the trouser department was spelled out at great length by Lyndon B. Johnson, recorded for the nation ordering various pairs from Texas tailor, Joe Haggar on August 9 th 1964.

Here's a short excerpt from the Oval Office tapes:

LBJ: So leave me at least two and a half, three inches in the back where I can let them out or take them up. And make these a half an inch bigger in the waist. And make the pockets at least an inch longer, my money, my knife, everything falls out - wait just a minute.

Operator: Would you hold on a minute please?

[conversation on hold for two minutes]

LBJ: Now the pockets, when you sit down, everything falls out, your money, your knife, everything, so I need at least another inch in the pockets. And another thing - the crotch, down where your nuts hang - is always a little too tight, so when you make them up, give me an inch that I can let out there, uh because they cut me, it's just like riding a wire fence. These are almost, these are the best I've had anywhere in the United States,

JH: Fine

LBJ: But, uh when I gain a little weight they cut me under there. So, leave me, you never do have much of margin there. See if you can't leave me an inch from where the zipper (burps) ends, round, under my, back to my bunghole, so I can let it out there if I need to.

JH: Right
Whether the tailor managed to defuse the President's personal missile crisis I have no idea.

Best Wishes,
Eric Thomson

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