Laudator Temporis Acti

I'd wager most adults in the United States have never read the Declaration of Independence or the Gettysburg Address. In the first place, increasing numbers of United States residents don't speak or read English. And for many of those who do, the language of these documents is too archaic, the syntax is too contorted, and the sentences are too long. Finally, they are probably not required reading in many American schools today.

These documents are books of our civic Bible. Pauline Maier entitled her treatise on the Declaration of Independence American Scripture. They should be read aloud to a reverent public in solemn ceremonies on our civic holidays (holy days), the Gettyburg Address on Memorial Day and the Declaration of Independence on the Fourth of July (Independence Day).

Because they are so difficult for many to understand, maybe these modern translations would be useful:

• H.L. Mencken's translation of the Declaration of Independence into American, which starts: "When things get so balled up that the people of a country got to cut loose from some other country, and go it on their own hook, without asking no permission from nobody, excepting maybe God Almighty, then they ought to let everybody know why they done it, so that everybody can see they are not trying to put nothing over on nobody."
  
• Oliver Jensen's translation of the Gettyburg address into Eisenhowese, which starts: "I haven't checked these figures, but 87 years ago, I think it was, a number of individuals organized a governmental set-up here in this country, I believe it covered certain Eastern areas, with this idea they were following up based on a sort of national independence arrangement and the program that every individual is just as good as every other individual."