Monday, April 02, 2007
Greek Anthology 11.395 (Nicarchus, tr. W.R. Paton):
A fart which cannot find an outlet kills many a man; a fart also saves, sending forth its lisping music. Therefore if a fart saves, and on the other hand kills, a fart has the same power as kings.St. Augustine, City of God 14.24 (tr. Marcus Dodds):
Πορδὴ ἀποκτέννει πολλοὺς ἀδιέξοδος οὖσα·
πορδὴ καὶ σώζει τραυλὸν ἱεῖσα µέλος.
οὐκοῦν εἰ σώζει, καὶ ἀποκτέννει πάλι πορδή,
τοῖς βασιλεῦσιν ἴσην πορδὴ ἔχει δύναµιν.
Some have such command of their bowels, that they can break wind continuously at pleasure, so as to produce the effect of singing.Dante, Inferno 21.136-139 (tr. John D. Sinclair):
nonnulli ab imo sine pudore ullo ita numerosos pro arbitrio sonitus edunt, ut ex illa etiam parte cantare videantur.
They wheeled round by the dike on the left; but first each pressed his tongue between his teeth at their leader for a signal and he made a trumpet of his rear.Piers Plowman W5.349-353 (tr. Henry W. Wells):
Per l'argine sinistro volta dienno;
ma prima avea ciascun la lingua stretta
coi denti, verso lor duca, per cenno;
ed elli avea del cul fatto trombetta.
His guts began to grumble like greedy porkers.I have not seen the anonymous pamphlet Arse Musica; or, The Lady's Back Report to Don Fart-in-hand-o Puff-in dorst (1722), which is apparently a reply to The benefit of farting explain'd: or, the fundament-all cause of the distempers incident to the fair-sex, enquired into. Proving à posteriori most of the dis-ordures in-tail'd upon them, are owning to flatulencies not seasonably vented. Written in Spanish by Don Fartinando Puff-indorst, professor of bombast in the University of Crackow. And translated into English at the request, and for the use, of the Lady Damp-fart of Her-fart-shire. By Obadiah Fizzle, Groom of the Stool to the Princess of Arsimini in Sardinia. Long-Fart: (Longford in Ireland), printed by Simon Bumbubbard, at the sign of the Wind-Mill opposite Twattling-Street, 1722.
He had pissed a pot in a pater noster minute,
He blew the bugle at his ridge bone's bottom,
So that all who heard that horn held their nose after,
And wished it had been wiped with a wisp of rushes.
Hise guttes bigonne to goþelen · as two gredy sowes
He pissed a potel · in a pater noster while
And blew his rounde ruwet · at his ruggebones ende
That alle þat herde þat horn · helde hir noses after
And wisshed it hadde ben wexed · wiþ a wispe of firses
In modern times, Joseph Pujol (whose stage name was Le Pétomane) could generate rectal music at will.