Laudator Temporis Acti

I had a good laugh at this parody of Gerard Manley Hopkins by Walter Nash, from his The Language of Humour: Style and Technique in Comic Discourse (London: Longman, 1985), pp. 80-81:

G.M. HOPKINS TAKES LUNCH IN THE RESTAURANT CAR

Ah, waiter, are there any any, where are, tell me, come,
    Napkins, lovely all-of-a-starch-staring
Linen, preferably, or pauper-seeming paper, waiter? Wearing
    My gaygear goodsuit, ah, my dear, dim was it? dumb?
Well, this train's tripping and track-truckling as I sipped
    Soup, did, ah God, the hot of it! - yes, slipped, flipped
Into my lap, slapping, of this clear consommé, some
    Spoonflung flashes, splashes for bosom's bearing.

Bring me a - coo - lummy - here dab, here dry with a kerch-
    ief, tea-towel, toilet-roll, oh-dear-then-a doily, but merely
A move (what a mercy, man) make! Oh what a slanting that sheerly,
    What with a canting curve of the, what with the lilt of the lurch,
Hurled leaping lapward, all in a skirl, the dear drenching.
    There was splash to abash one quaintly, ah, there was a quenching!
Since when, on seat's edge sodden I pensive perch,
    Picking at lunch unlovely, unappetizing nearly.

Hat tip: Eric Thomson, who remarked, "I'm not sure whether the 'gaygear goodsuit' is meant to be his cassock. If so, it might cause a Nashing of teeth in some quarters ... ignoble, igNashious, disLoyola."