Thursday, June 09, 2016


Lords and Ladies

[William Watts,] The Yahoo: A Satirical Rhapsody (New York: H.M. Duhecquet, 1833), pp. 53-54 (lines 1204-1227; notes omitted):
What starch-phizz'd, poker-back'd, fine dukes and lords!
Lisping their pretty namby-pamby words!
This nincompoop's dubb'd royal—that serene;
But what does such slop-dawdle nonsense mean?
How do these lordships, highnesses, and graces,
Refrain from laughing in each other's faces?
Such things that glitter like gilt gingerbread,
Should be with pap, or else with kava fed.
'Tis strange that those who manage court affairs,
Should not provide them clouts and cacking-chairs.

Yes, this parade forms all the courtier's joys:
This royal baby-house of drest-up toys.
Lord Fartlebury; Duke of Puddle-dock;
Prince Cacafogo; Countess Dillicock;
Lord Nincompoop; Sir George Golumpus Grub:
Veldt Marshall Hoggsgutz; Lady Trullibub;
Count Snickasnee; Lord Fudge; Prince Potowouskin;
Baron Bumfodder; Monsieur Mouschkin Poushkin;
Lord Blath'rumskate; Earl Swipes; Count Doodle-doo;
Madame Caca-du-Dauphin Baisemoncul;
The Rev'rend Noodle Doodle Dunderhead;
The Honourable Simon S***-a-bed;
And Co.; for of them there's a numerous pack;
But these may serve as samples of the sack.

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