Sunday, June 19, 2011


Something to Offend Everyone

Walter Raleigh (1861-1922), Of the Nations: A Hymn of Love and Praise, from Laughter from a Cloud (London: Constable and Company Limited, 1923), pp. 175-177:
Damn the Russian
And the Prussian;
Clap a tax on
Every Saxon;
Beat the Gael
With a flail.
What a sot
Is the Scot!
Who says thankee
For the Yankee,
Or has need
Of the Swede,
Or would ask
For the Basque?
That rapscallion,
The Italian
Rolls in sin
(Like the Finn).
Men of Spain
Are a bane,
And the French
Yield a stench;
The Chinese
Fail to please,
So perhaps
Do the Lapps.
Good men spit on
Celt and Briton,
And abuse
The Hindus.
The Icelander
Is a gander.
Dangers lurk
In the Turk.
May the low
Go to pot
With the lot!
In Japan a
Finds a devil
On his level.
The Armenian
And the Fenian
And the Swiss
Are amiss.
Let us squelch
All the Welsh,
Not to speak
Of the Greek,
And the Norse
Too, of course.
They are more
Than a bore,
If they fell
Down to hell
With their bibs on.
Praising Ibsen,
Or were sent
By a gent
To the Zoo—
That would do.

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